Making Room for Prayer

I’ll be the first to admit that consistent prayer is not my strong suit. I need lots of help remembering to “pray without ceasings,” as I Thessalonians 5:17 commands. In my journey to be more faithful, one thing has tremendously improved my prayer life. A few years ago, I LITERALLY made room for prayer in our home. That is to say, I set aside dedicated space for times of prayer and worship. There are various names for this kind of space depending on your tradition:  home altar, family altar, prayer/icon/beautiful corner, or simply a family prayer space. Whatever you call it, the concept and purpose is the same. This special area is devoted specifically to prayer.

I thought I’d share with you a few tips that I learned from creating my own prayer space.

1. CHOOSE A CENTRAL LOCATION

Of course, there are certain times when prayer needs to happen in a private and secluded place. A little tip I learned from my mother-in-law:  bedroom closets are perfect for private prayer. A home altar, on the other hand, is a space for cooperate prayer (at least, this is the way we use it in our family). For this reason, we chose a central location. Affording our altar a place of honor in the center of our home ensures that it will be a visual reminder to us throughout the day…a continual invitation to stop what we are doing and make time for prayer.  In our current home, the altar stands on a tall dresser in our living room. It is one of the first things people see when entering our front door. In this way, our altar also becomes a form of witness. Those who visit our house know immediately that we are Christians.

2. MAKE IT BEAUTIFUL

Prayer is beautiful. We get to talk to the One who created the heavens and the earth…to communicated with the God who expertly crafted a breathtaking and magnificent universe. By making our prayer space beautiful, we are reminded of God’s artistry and encouraged to have an attitude of awe and reverence. Therefore, we keep several symbolic items on our altar that are especially lovely. These are NOT “magical” objects to increase the power of our prayers…they are simply tools that focus our hearts and to teach us about what we are doing when we pray. Here are some of the items we use:

• An oil lamp (also called a “vigil” lamp) – Scripture is filled with images of light and lamps. In the New Testament, Jesus tells His followers,
  

  “You are the light of the world…let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16).

For some, a regular candle may be preferred.  An oil lamp, however, is unique because it requires attentive care throughout the day. The oil must be replenished and the wick kept trimmed. While a candle may be burned for short periods, many use vigil lamps all day long. This is the perfect analogy for our Christian life in anticipation of Christ’s second coming. In Luke 12:35, Jesus reminds us, “Stay dressed for action and keep your lamps burning.”***

• A prayer book and Bible – As an Anglican family, the Book of Common Prayer is central during our prayer times. Whatever devotional books that you find helpful should find their way to your home altar. Of course, we also keep our family Bible (which happens to be a Children’s Bible right now) on the altar for reading together.

• A hand censer – What a beautiful and mystifying symbol! Observing the fragrant smoke dance and rise from our censer, we think about our prayers rising up to God. As the incense fills our living room, we consider how God’s Spirit fills and surrounds us all the time. For my fellow Protestants who hesitate to incorporate incense into their prayer lives, consider how big a role incense plays in Biblical worship. Throughout the Old Testament, we see God’s people burn incense during times of worship and prayer. In Exodus 30, God gives very specific instructions about burning incense in the Tabernacle, and Malachi 1:11 declares,
  

  For from the rising of the sun to its setting my name will be great among the nations, and in every place incense will be offered to my name, and a pure offering. For my name will be great among the nations, says the LORD of hosts.

  Again, in the book of Revelation, we read about the presence of incense in heavenly worship:

  And another angel came and stood at the altar, holding a golden censer; and much incense was given to him, that he might add it to the prayers of all the saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne. And the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, went up before God out of the angel’s hand. Rev. 8:1-4

I highly recommend checking out Orthodox Incense for vigil lamps, incense, and censers. They have gorgeous handmade items and two great starter sets (a vigil lamp starter set and an incense starter set). I buy all of our oil, wicks, charcoal, and incense from them and have been so pleased time and time again. My current favorite incense to burn is called “Old Church” – a complex and woody blend of labdanum, frankincense, cedar & fir needle and vetiver, with a touch of spices.

• Devotional images – As Anglican Christians, our family values the use of Icons in worship. Since this is an area of debate among Christians, I won’t go into detail about iconography here. Any image that helps draw us closer to God and focus our hearts may be used: a framed picture of nature, a meaningful quote, a favorite verse of Scripture, or even a picture of your family. We do not worship or pray TO these images. Rather, we use them to bring us into an attitude of prayer.

• A cross and/or other handheld items – Prayer is not just an act of the mind. God made humans tactile. For this reason, we have several small items (a few different crosses, a prayer cube, and prayer beads) that can be held or used while we pray. This is especially helpful for my wiggly and energetic children. When they are allowed to hold a necklace with beads, a cross, or a prayer cube…it keeps their hands and their hearts engaged.

3. USE IT!

Our prayer times as a family aren’t especially complicated. Once a week, we try to have a family prayer service before bed. We typically use a shortened version of Evening Prayer (from the Book of Common Prayer). In the mornings, on the other hand, my prayer with the kids (age 3 and 1) is much shorter. We light the oil lamp and incense, sing a simple song like “Jesus Loves Me,” offer some extemporaneous prayer, and usually close with the Lord’s Prayer. Often we will follow our prayer time with a reading from an illustrated children’s Bible. As they get older, our morning prayer will grow in complexity: readings from the Psalms, daily collects (written prayers), and confessional prayer. The kids and I don’t do this every day, although I’d like to move toward that goal. We also use our home altar for special occassions, like when we celebrate the anniversary of our children’s baptisms.

Don’t be discouraged if it takes some time to become regular in the habit of family prayer. I’ve learned that my efforts may not be consistent or perfect, but we are definitely moving in the right direction. God will honor those efforts and help to multiply them.

Does your family pray together on a regular basis? What kind of space to you use during this time?

***Please remember that burning incense and lighting vigil lamps (or candles) should be done with caution. Make sure that you place your censer and/or vigil lamp on a sturdy base, to avoid spilling of hot coal or oil. Watch for children and animals when using hot objects. You should never leave the censer or oil lamp unattended.

Tentmaking

In the book of Acts, Luke tells us that Paul was a tentmaker by trade. Even after Paul converted to Christianity and became a preacher/church planter, he still made and sold tents for a living.

18 After this Paul left Athens and went to Corinth. 2 And he found a Jew named Aquila, a native of Pontus, recently come from Italy with his wife Priscilla, because Claudius had commanded all the Jews to leave Rome. And he went to see them, 3 and because he was of the same trade he stayed with them and worked, for they were tentmakers by trade. 4 And he reasoned in the synagogue every Sabbath, and tried to persuade Jews and Greeks. –Acts 18:1-4

The past several years have challenged me in my understanding of calling…specifically, my calling into Christian ministry. As many of you know, I have a Masters of Divinity and have long felt led toward ministry. Suffice it to say, I am still discerning many things and my understanding of ministry has certainly evolved a great deal. One thing I have learned in this regard, is that one’s ministry and calling is not static. We can be and ARE called to do many different ministries in life…often, many different ministries at the same time. As a Christian, my first calling is always to share Christ; to live and breathe Christ to others; to become more like Christ every single day (no matter what I may be doing). Only the grace of God allows us to pursue this calling, and thanks be to God that we are given the Spirit to equip us!

Three years ago, I received a new calling: to become a godly parent. Tyler and I were given an incredible ministry opportunity – to make disciples within our own home. For me, this ministry has become a full time vocation. I am so thankful for the chance to be trusted with these two beautiful children, and (most days) I love staying at home to raise them up in the Lord. Is it easy? NO. Do I always enjoy it? NO. Do I sometimes want to pull out my hair? MOST DEFINITELY. Once again, thank God for grace!

For this season of my life, one of my ministry callings includes staying home, changing diapers, and reading Dr. Seuss. (Please note: this is MY calling, not anyone else’s. Sometimes working outside the home is what God has ordained for a parent, and sometimes not). For me, I know without a doubt that I am where God wants me in terms of a “career.” HOWEVER, sometimes one’s “trade” is distinguishable (in some ways) from one’s calling. This was certainly true for Paul. Paul had multiple sources for financing his ministry of preaching. One of them was working as a tradesman, a tentmaker. Not only did tentmaking provide income for Paul’s preaching, it also helped build up the needy in his community. Later in Acts 20, Paul says this:

33 I coveted no one’s silver or gold or apparel. 34 You yourselves know that these hands ministered to my necessities and to those who were with me. 35 In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ –Acts 20:33-35

Paul’s work as a tentmaker served at least three purposes: 1. It helped support his ministry as a preacher and missionary. 2. It helped support those who were in need (the “weak” of his community) AND 3. It opened up another venue for Paul to be a witness to the gospel.

So why am I writing about this, you might ask…

Well, I recently have begun my own tentmaking endeavor. After much prayer, Tyler and I decided that I should do some work from home for the purpose of supporting my ministry as a stay-at-home parent, and for supporting my community. I don’t want to spend a lot of time going into details about my new job, but I will say that it’s something I’m very passionate about (helping people make safe and healthy choices as consumers). Very briefly, my business is working as a consultant for a benefits corporation called Beautycounter. If you want to learn more, check out my website here: https://betsypace.beautycounter.com/Home. For those who know me personally, you’ve probably seen me post about Beautycounter and/or safe personal care products on Facebook. As a caveat: I just want to mention that I know some people really hate social selling (direct sales). We live in a culture where people prefer to shop privately, and that’s ok! If I contact you about Beautycounter, please know that I’m just trying to share something I’m passionate about – and support my family at the same time. I completely understand if you are not interested, and I would love for you to be honest and just tell me that. It won’t hurt my feelings or jeapardize our friendship in the slightest! 

The biggest thing you can do to support me is pray. I want to learn and grow so I can be the best “tentmaker” possible…to support my family, my ministry, and my community. I am praying that God will make me more like the woman in Proverbs 31:

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
–Proverbs 31:25-27

It is an exciting time for me as I learn a new “trade.” I can’t wait to see how God is going to bless this tentmaking adventure and open new doors for me to share Christ at home, in my community, and in my business!

Jesus Taste Test

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. I Corinthians 16:13

This morning, I found myself discouraged as I browsed my Facebook feed – overwhelmed with how drastically my worldview and faith differ from the people and culture around me. Yes, part of this reaction has to do with the recent Grammy Awards show. I didn’t watch it, but saw lots of comments praising the show’s stand against those who would “play God” by opposing marriage equality. “Love is Love,” after all, and God loves everyone. It’s hard to argue with that, right? Because the fact of the matter is, God does love everyone. And the debate over homosexuality is certainly NOT the only place my faith comes into question. In fact, I find myself discouraged and confused more and more often…watching the news…talking with friends…reading endless debates on Facebook. I increasingly wonder: “How will I ever teach my children to hold firm to the Christian Faith when the world around them vehemently disapproves? How can I protect them from a society (and even from other professing Christians) who label them as hateful bigots, judgmental, and ignorant?” Pondering these thoughts over my beloved cup of morning coffee, I was suddenly struck with a feeling of foolishness. Of course the world will oppose my faith. Of course our culture will revile and insult me. More specifically, the powers of darkness and the devil who rules this world, will do everything possible to sway the security and confidence of my faith. It has always been so. (For examples, see THE BIBLE). I cannot protect my children from such worldly opposition, nor should I want to.

I am incredibly sheltered from the kind of horrible persecution that countless believers face across the globe. Because of this, it’s easy to forget that I’m SUPPOSED to be divergent…no matter the cost. Here in America, we (Christians included) are enamored with accepting and being ACCEPTED by everyone. We never want to offend anyone for fear that they might stop liking us (yours truly is definitely guilty of this). “Political Correctness” and “Tolerance” have become our idols…little gods before whom we readily bow and obey. In an effort to appease these powerful “gods,” we have decided to make Jesus more “palatable.” Like airbrushing a photo, we like to smooth Him out around the edges…make His message easier to swallow. Jesus has become his own Baskin Robbins shop, with “31 flavors” of fun to try. Depending on whom we are around, we choose our Jesus carefully. For the sake of “love” we shut our mouths; we avoid conflict over areas of disagreement; we pretend we all believe the same. But we don’t. We just don’t. The Church and the World are oil and water. (For examples, see THE BIBLE).

Yes, Yes, I hear you protesting loud and clear, “But how do we know which ‘flavor’ is the right one?” Who am I to arrogantly decide that a certain version of Jesus is correct? Simply put, I am not the one to decide. That, my friend, is another blog post all together (or perhaps a book or two or ten). An adequate discussion would necessarily include the sacred Scripture, the Creeds, the Church Councils, and the teaching of the Holy Fathers…at the very least. BUT one thing I do know is what Jesus DOESN’T taste like…He doesn’t taste PLEASING or DESIRABLE to the world (to those who are non-believers). Jesus said that the world would hate His followers…they would hate us because they HATED Him.

If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. 20 Remember the word that I said to you:‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.21 But all these things they will do to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me. (John 5:18-21)

It stands to reason, then, that we should be at least a little bit suspicious, if the “Jesus” being preached is readily accepted and embraced by the world (i.e. the media). It is tempting, oh so tempting, to go for the sweet, delicious “chocolate chunk Jesus”…the Jesus that agrees with everyone and doesn’t demand any discomfort or sacrifice on our part. The problem is, “chocolate chunk Jesus” is poisonous…his message goes down well enough, but kills us in the end. It is a false Jesus…an “anti-Christ,” if you will. Paul warned us not to be swayed by easy and appetizing beliefs:

3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 5 As for you, always be sober-minded,endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. (2 Timothy 4:3-5)

I pray the Lord would make me brave enough to disagree with the world around me…to teach my kids to disagree, boldly and  LOVINGLY. I pray that God would empower me to care less about people liking me and more about submitting to His reign and authority. I want my children to see that the real Jesus doesn’t conform Himself to the most fashionable beliefs of the moment (and neither should we; see Romans 12:1-2). The real Jesus isn’t “chocolate chunk” or “strawberry swirl” or whatever else we want Him to be. The real Jesus was and is offensive and challenging enough to the sentiments of society that people wanted to kill him…not hold his hand and sing “Kum ba yah.” That’s the Jesus I want to follow…even if  when it’s really hard.

One last and important note: as I’ve said, the real Jesus was/is offensive, but He does not advocate or command violence. He promised that the world would persecute His followers – NOT the other way around. Having strong convictions does not mean forcing my beliefs on others, acting violently, or persecuting those who disagree. It is a sad, sad thing when people con

By Water and the Spirit

 

Since my husband and I joined the Anglican church, we’ve begun to understand the importance of tradition in a much deeper way. Many Protestants view Catholic, Orthodox, and Anglican churches as “stiff” and “legalistic”–hemmed in and confined to their “traditions” and rituals. Before I became Anglican, I held similar sentiments. Now that I have routinely experienced these weekly and yearly “traditions” for myself, I’ve fallen in love. Rather than feeling hemmed in, I’ve found a great freedom and an enormous value to these rituals we Anglicans insist upon repeating week after week. In a recent blog post about Christmas traditions, I noted that,

A tradition is a ritual, belief or object passed down within a society…the word “tradition” itself derives from the Latin tradere or traderer literally meaning to transmit, to hand over, to give for safekeeping.

Around the holidays, we cherish our family traditions and repeat them faithfully. We want to pass on, in tangible and memorable ways, the values and beliefs we hold so dear. Since the Church is nothing less than the supreme family – that is, the family of God – why are we so opposed to doing the same?

One of my favorite collection of traditions connects to the sacrament of Baptism. There are all sorts of symbols that we use to help teach us about what baptism means. In fact, I learned a new tradition yesterday when a baby was baptized at our church. Actually, the tradition was only “new” to me. It is really a very old practice. In this tradition, the family “names” their child for the first time at her baptism — announcing the child to her spiritual family as she is welcomed into the Church. This tradition or ritual affirms the belief that, through the gift of baptism, we are adopted as God’s children and given a new identity and a new family.

Tyler and I recently celebrated Firstborn’s baptism day with several traditions. Since we observe infant baptism in the Anglican church (a practice which I firmly support), it’s even more important for us to develop rituals to teach children about the meaning of their baptisms. By celebrating the day of one’s baptism – or spiritual birthday – we remember the event as life changing and sacred.  Here’s what we did for Firstborn’s first spiritual “birthday”:

1. Gathering around our home altar (which I finally set up!) we lit our hand censer (incense burner) as is our custom before family prayer. Firstborn LOVES to watch the smoke rise and dance. 
2. Next, we read Firstborn the story of Jesus’ baptism – from his Jesus Storybook Bible (which I absolutely love and HIGHLY recommend). 
3. We showed him pictures of his own baptism and told him what the service was like (in very simple terms, of course).
4.  We also lit his baptismal candle. A baptismal candle is given to the person being baptized during the service. It is lit from the Paschal candle, which represents Christ. The candle demonstrates the light of Christ that is found inside of Firstborn now. It reminds him that he is called to be “the light of the world.” 
5. We then took a little water from his baptism (I saved some of it) and poured it in his hand, telling him that God forgives and cleanses us from our sins. 
6. Finally, Tyler and I said a prayer of blessing over him, asking God to help us as his parents to raise him up in the fear of the Lord. 
7. We also gave him a present – a clay cross with this prayer by St. Francis, “Lord make me an instrument of your peace.” 

Every year, we will repeat this ceremony – making adjustments as he matures. Every year, we will give him a gift to help him grow in his faith. Firstborn is only 16 months old, so he probably won’t remember any of what we did that day. But as he grows, this yearly celebration will become a part of his memories. We pray that it will aid us in teaching him about his true identity: a beloved child of God, the light of the world, and Christ’s disciple. The ritual is important for Tyler and me as well. It reminds us of our responsibility to fulfill the vows we made on Firstborn’s behalf. It challenges us to teach him what we believe so that one day, he can claim it for himself. I pray that God will help us in all the ways we fall short as his spiritual parents over the years! I know and trust that He will.

“But we, little fishes, after the example of our ΙΧΘΥΣ Jesus Christ, are born in water, nor have we safety in any other way than by permanently abiding in water…” –Tertullian

Traditions

 

I’ve been seeing a lot about “The Elf on the Shelf” tradition lately, and I just can’t stop from commenting. FYI: I’m a Grinch when it comes to many commonly excepted holiday traditions because of what they communicate and how much they distract – so be forewarned.  For the sake of brevity…I’m gonna stick to the Elf for this post. According to Wikipedia,

A tradition is a ritual, belief or object passed down within a society…the word “tradition” itself derives from the Latin tradere or traderer literally meaning to transmit, to hand over, to give for safekeeping. While it is commonly assumed that traditions have ancient history, many traditions have been invented on purpose, whether that be political or cultural, over short periods of time.

In other words, traditions are meant to teach or transmit important truths to future generations. The Elf on the Shelf is one of those traditions more recently invented. So the question becomes, “for what purpose was this ritual created?” One answer might be: to generate consumers of a particular product (that is, the Elf merchandise). A more generous answer might be: to facilitate family “play” and teach us something special about Christmas…but what, exactly, does the Elf teach? Here’s what the product website says,

The tradition begins when Santa sends his scout elves out to Elf Adoption Centers. … Once named, each scout elf will receive its Christmas magic and become a part of the family’s Christmas each and every year. Excellent listeners and even better observers, these scout elves are the eyes and ears of Santa Claus…Each night, after the family goes to bed, the scout elf uses his magical Christmas powers to fly back to the North Pole. Once there, the elf will make his or her daily report to Santa…On Christmas Eve, the scout elf will listen for Santa’s bell and then fly back to the North Pole until the next season, wishing every girl and each boy a Christmas of peace and a year full of joy.

Let’s recap the “truths” that this tradition is meant to communicate (in my cynical opinion):

• Santa Claus, not God the Father, desires us to be “good” and watches our behavior from a distance using magical Elf spies.

• The level of satisfaction we get out of Christmas (i.e. how many presents we get) depends on our being “good” for a few weeks so that our Elf will give a decent report to Big Brother Santa.

• When we anticipate Christmas Day, we are looking forward to Santa’s arrival/the Elf’s departure NOT the commemoration of Jesus’ birth.

Some might argue that such traditions don’t displace the Christian story, but, rather, compliment…or at least, parallel it. Others might contend that its all in good fun. However, when your child thinks back to Christmases past,  what will he or she recall? When November comes around next year, what tradition will your child get the most excited about resurrecting in the coming month? Will it be the reading of the gospel story, the singing of hymns, the making of chrismons? Or will it be a sneaky little toy elf who did silly things in the weeks before opening presents?

I know this may seem harsh or extreme to most, but the truth is, what we do with our children matters. They remember these traditions that we erect. They learn from them. Traditions communicate something…and as Christians, we are called to train our children up in the Lord. What we teach them at Christmas (or any other time), they will also pass on to their children:

Psalm 7:2-7

I will open my mouth in a parable;

    I will utter dark sayings from of old,

³ things that we have heard and known,

    that our fathers have told us.

⁴ We will not hide them from their children,

    but tell to the coming generation

the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,

    and the wonders that he has done.

⁵ He established a testimony in Jacob

    and appointed a law in Israel,

which he commanded our fathers

    to teach to their children,

⁶ that the next generation might know them,

    the children yet unborn,

and arise and tell them to their children,

⁷     so that they should set their hope in God

and not forget the works of God,

    but keep his commandments;

Certainly, it’s okay to have fun and goofy traditions that are simply meant to make us laugh. (My family plays “White Elephant” every year on Christmas Eve – and it’s hilarious!) The key is that these rituals don’t distract from the truth of Christmas or the focus on Christ’s incarnation. With everything that we do, we must ask ourselves: What does this tradition communicate or teach to my child/children? What am I passing down to them for safekeeping, and is it the truth of the gospel? Will is help or hinder them from setting their hope in God, remembering His works, and keeping his commandments?

Instead of taking our traditions from the larger secular culture (and often spending lots of money doing it), why not make up ones of our own? What about a game or tradition where we hide a baby Jesus figurine so that the kids have to search for him each day leading up to Christmas? Then we have an adequate tool to explain and remind our children about searching for God through his Son, Emmanuel (God with us). Or why not create a scavenger hunt using images from the gospels…have the children dress us like wise men who are following a distant star to find a distant king? The possibilities are endless, and they can be just as fun as a plastic elf…if we only invest a little thought and effort.